Inside Voices Read online

  “You got dizzy right before?”

  “Yep. Usually. And a headache follows later.”

  Noah drug the toe of his boot through the rocky beach. “Have you ever experienced this before?” He stared out over the frigid waters, the hushed waves lapping at the pebbles.

  “No. Well, yes and no, I guess. I mean, not of you being attacked before that day. I have had other dreams or nightmares the night before things have happened.”

  The visions that visited her before moving to Alaska almost always occurred while she slept. Those would play out the following day. Only since arriving in Utqiaġvik in May had the daytime visions started, but none so far had been as vibrant as the vision of Noah and the bear.

  Noah continued to gaze over the sea. Penny studied his handsome profile. He appeared serious, perhaps in contemplation. When he at last returned his attention to her, there was a definite solemnness to his expression.

  Does he think I’m crazy?

  “So, you have visions?” Noah asked.

  Now it was Penny’s turn to shift her gaze from Noah’s searching eyes. Only her mother and her sister knew the horrible truth Penny hid from the world.

  “Yes. I don’t get the full picture, just a part. I saw a bear attack you. The bear with three scars.”

  “During your visions, at any time has the bear harmed you?” he asked, his raised eyebrow echoing the question.

  Penny considered it and shook her head. It was true, the bear scared her, but not because she had seen it come for her. Except in her vision it attacked Noah.

  “And in your vision, did the bear harm me?”

  Again she brought up the memory. There was the bear rearing up behind Noah, blood staining its front. Blood from the walrus it dined upon. It roared. But it had not attacked.

  Her eye shot up, meeting his gaze. “No, he reared up behind you. You weren’t harmed. And the blood on him, I guess that was from the walrus.”

  Lowering his eyes to the beach, Noah shuffled his feet, kicking at the small rocks. “Maybe he was saying hello?” he offered.

  “Crazy, right—” She broke off with a strangled laugh, brushing at aberrant hairs that escaped her stocking cap to tickle her nose.

  “Penny.” He said her name with an intensity that made her insides simultaneously soften and clench. “Have you considered the possibility of a spirit animal? In my people, there are shaman, or angakkuq. People who are psychic.” He leaned toward her, grasping the handlebars of her bike. “My grandmother was well known for being able to perceive future events. When she said something was going to happen, people took notice or suffered for it. Don’t ever think I would laugh at such a thing. I can see that you are serious about it.”

  She closed her eyes, blocking his gaze. Was this possible? She communicated with her sister telepathically. She could do so with animals as well, albeit in a different manner. How would this be any more impossible?

  A calming breath settled her, and she opened her eyes. She was hesitant to share more, but the look he gave her was reassuring. “I also have visions of a Shadowed Man. This figure. This man—he terrifies me. And there are echoes of screaming even though I don’t see anyone else.” The memories of the visions threatened to conquer her.

  “Did you experience the visions of the Shadowed Man before you came here?”

  She nodded. “I couldn’t say for certain when they started, but it was not long after I agreed to move here.”

  “And we found two missing girls, one just before you arrived,” he said, his voice so quiet, barely audible over the wind.

  Noah rubbed a finger along the clutch handle and then slapped his other hand against his thigh as he straightened.

  “Look,” he said. “I don’t think it is just anxiety or paranoia. I think it is better to let someone else in on it. Be a sounding board. I will not judge you; I promise.”

  “Oh, okay,” she said, thinking that sharing her dreams with this beautiful man may not be the best idea, especially if she was losing her mind. But, what could it hurt?

  “Maybe this scarred bear isn’t there to hurt you. I mean, we can track him through the chip.”

  Penny nodded.

  “So, let’s check out where he is when we get back.”

  Penny reached into her inside jacket pocket and pulled out her phone. Why wait that long when she carried the means to check immediately? She brought up the app and quickly located the red dot and corresponding number that signified the scarred male bear. Noah moved to look over her shoulder. His breath warmed her cheek.

  “Look at that. It was him,” Noah confirmed. “We aren’t far from where we tagged him, though, so we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions just yet.”

  The statement did little to dispel the fear that blossomed. Noah stood up and put a hand on her shoulder.

  “Guess I will need to start checking the app, too.”

  “So you plan to stalk this bear?” Penny received a nod in reply.

  “Wouldn’t that make you a stalker in your own right? Of me, I mean? You would need to know where I was whenever you check on the bear…” She detected the slow half-smile appearing on his face. He raised an eyebrow and winked. Noah was utterly striking when he smiled. When he winked, well, he was gorgeous, beard and all.

  “In a completely sincere way, yes, I will become your stalker. That’s what friends do. Look out for one another, right?”

  “Stalker. You are offering to be my stalker or the bear’s?” She crossed her arms, holding tight to the fluttering of her insides even though he used the friend word.

  “Yours, I guess.” He scratched at the beard on his chin and neck.

  “That is a bit creepy, you know that, yeah?” she teased.

  “Best job I will ever have, stalking a beautiful creature.” His eyes twinkled as his grin broadened.

  She shifted her bike into neutral and stood, ready to start her bike, hoping she hid the flush that rose in response to his words.

  “I’m curious. Do you have any other abilities?” he asked.

  Please don’t tell him about our connection, Lucy requested.

  “Besides seeing awful visions?” Penny chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I guess I might have one or two.” She strummed an imaginary guitar before kick starting the motorcycle.

  Harried

  True to his word, throughout July, Noah maintained an eye on the red dot that was the scarred polar bear. Having downloaded the app, he would send Penny messages checking on her and letting her know about the bear’s whereabouts when he was working at Prudhoe. He didn’t really need to, since Penny was also monitoring the bear, but she didn’t dissuade him. Any nearness of the bear would be nothing more than coincidence as he was land bound until the sea began to freeze. Although the great white bears are not territorial, the mapped wanderings of the scarred bear showed him staying relatively close to the town.

  Each message sent a jolt of excitement through her. She mentally chided herself over the elation. He was older than her. He held no interest in her beyond friendship. She had almost zero real-life experience with romance, but she was pretty sure no part of their relationship thus far resembled any trace of romance. She was feeling things her mind told her were improbable.

  Well, if you won’t hope, I will, her sister declared. We both know you need some enjoyable daydreams.

  Upon his return in late July, Noah invited himself over to Penny’s house late one afternoon to play guitar. He didn’t want to hole up in the bunker any longer, it seemed, and wished for a bright, sunny living room in which to play. Having warmed up to the handsome young man, Edgar glided across the room to perch on Noah’s shoulder while Noah began tuning his guitar.

  They played a new song together; one Penny had been eager to try with a second guitar. After railing though multiple riffs, Noah called for a break. As he walked into the kitchen to grab a drink, Blue stretched out against Penny’s feet, and she stroked him absently. She listened to Noah stop to allow Edgar to climb
onto his perch before returning.

  Noah handed her a glass of water, their fingers brushing in the exchange. It meant nothing, the electrical zings in her arm.

  “That guy has some sharp claws,” he said, rubbing his shoulder.

  “Yeah, I know. I need to file them. They are like daggers.” Penny drank half the glass before placing it back on the coffee table. She ran her fingers along the strings of her guitar, fingerpicking a song. As usual, their talk was minimal. Neither felt a need to fill the silence with words.

  With fall’s approach came preparations for Army’s return to teach at the college in Anchorage. He made the decision to discontinue tagging at the end of July and planned to resume the following spring. The team had tagged more than the planned number of bears, and there was already several months of data on less than half of them. So, although the physical work was stalled until spring, Penny’s computer work was about to hit full swing.

  Bill and Rita would stay another few weeks before heading back to London for a short vacation with family. They then planned to travel to Australia as they had the past three years before proceeding further south still to Antarctica for penguin studies.

  Eelyn took the offered opportunity to work full-time at the small animal clinic. Penny really didn’t see it as much of a difference. She was there almost full-time anyway. That left Penny to tend to incoming data and maintain the research station over winter, which required daily visits at best. And help tend the dogs. And give guitar lessons, although two of the kids she was giving lessons to were moving out of town. Overall, Penny figured she would stay busy enough.

  Noah told her during their last guitar session that his younger brother, Harry (short for Harrison), was coming up next week during the first part of August to visit before he started college later in the month. He was a year younger than Penny.

  On the morning Harry was to arrive, Army and Eelyn had taken the Twin Otter out for a flight to survey a piece of land off to the southeast. After much urging on Penny’s part, Lucy tagged along. Penny faced a solitary afternoon in which she promptly fell asleep while trying to read a research paper on DNA mapping.

  The phone buzzed and woke her.

  “Hey, busy today?” came Noah’s voice.

  She cleared her throat before speaking. But her voice still sounded like it was full of sleep. “Umm, no. Why?”

  “Did I wake you?”

  “No, no, it’s fine.” She sat up straighter, hoping that would help.

  “My little brother is flying in, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to pick him up. If you aren’t busy.”

  She wasn’t. She should have been, but time with Noah would be better than trudging through DNA mapping sequences.

  “Are you sure you want me to tag along? I’m sure you two have loads to catch up on,” she said.

  “We will have plenty of time to catch up. You should bring Blue. He can keep Winter company.”

  Penny smiled, that weird electricity shooting the length of her arms again. “In that case, we accept.”

  The foursome arrived early in the black truck and quietly waited to watch the plane land in the afternoon sunlight. Noah explained that his younger brother was studying to be a brewmaster, not a profession openly paraded in the dry town. While he spoke, his leg bounced out a wild tempo.

  “Anxious to see your brother?” Penny asked.

  His leg stilled.

  “I am. We haven’t spent much time together since I entered the army. He was a little boy the last time I saw him,” he explained quietly.

  Penny recalled a recent discussion. During a lull in playing, Vale had asked Penny about Noah, what she thought of him. Of course, Penny wasn’t about to tell Noah’s little cousin that she found him caring and funny and attractive. Definitely not the latter. So, she said little. Vale, on the other hand, said a lot, relaying most of Noah’s upbringing. He and his older sister, Sanna, didn’t share the same father with the youngest sibling, Harry. Sanna and Noah’s father ran out on their mom, Raina, when Noah was two. His mother moved to Washington, the state not the capital, where she met David, Harry’s father. They married, and Harry arrived when Noah was seven. Then Raina and David were killed in a car accident. A truck driver fell asleep and swerved into them on the highway. Sanna was in college in Anchorage at the time. Noah moved to Utqiaġvik to live with Army and finish high school. Harry stayed with David’s parents, his blood grandparents, to finish school. Penny listened, sad for Noah and his family and happy for Vale’s willingness to share.

  “Harry. Short for Harrison?” she asked, hoping to cover the well of grief that opened within her as thoughts surfaced of the three siblings losing their parents. She couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have lost both at once or grow up knowing her father didn’t care enough to stay.

  He chuckled oblivious to her discomfort. “Yeah. But after my ataataga, uh, grandfather. Not after the actor, although Harry seems to forget that I think.”

  “And your sister?”

  “She is named after Sedna, the Inuit goddess of the sea.”

  “And you are named after the dude who built an ark?” She sniffed and gave a tentative half smile.

  “Yup. Good old Genesis.”

  “Vale told me about your parents, Noah. I’m very sorry.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “No, but it still sucks. Have you, ah, ever met your biological father?” Penny asked tentatively unsure if he would want to talk about it.

  “No,” his answer was what she expected. What love could one feel for someone else who failed to put any effort into your well-being? “David was my father in all ways that mattered. Most people think we all look more like him, anyway.”

  He pulled a worn photo out of his wallet to show her. As he moved closer, she inhaled his scent, a tantalizing combination of shampoo and fresh mint gum. The familiar combination caused a skirmish in her belly, like a mess of butterflies were trying to break free. She hadn’t realized how much she craved his scent, his warmth, his ease. She tried to focus on the photo he was showing her. The three siblings and their parents all smiled broadly at the photographer, dressed in matching sweaters. Noah smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  “So, what, he’s twenty?” she asked.

  “Twenty-one.”

  “Oh, so he’s my age,” she said, contemplating Noah’s age. Twenty-eight. He wasn’t that much older…

  Older men are much dreamier, her sister thought.

  You dated Liam, and he is our age, Penny responded through their bond.

  That was when I was young and stupid.

  Oh stop.

  The dogs nosed their way into the front seat then, distracting them from any real conversation until the plane they waited for landed. Penny and Noah exited the truck, the dogs tumbling out behind them, and walked to the airport entrance to wait next to the concrete barriers outside the Wiley Post-Will Rogers Memorial Airport.

  As they waited in the nippy afternoon, a cloak of darkness descended over Penny’s vision, and she glimpsed the back-lit silhouette of a menacing figure. The menacing figure. She sucked in a sharp breath and stumbled backward against a concrete barrier. Her fingers found the skin at her temples, and she pushed hard to force the image from her mind.

  A hand gripped her shoulder, giving her a little shake and returning her to the present.

  “You look pale. Are you sick?” asked Noah, his brow furrowed and eyes tight.

  Sick of the visions.

  “Did you see something?” he asked so close to her ear that his breath warmed.

  She licked her dry lips and whispered, “Yes.”

  Before more words were exchanged, a dark-haired young man wearing sunglasses and a fur-trimmed down jacket exited the terminal. The roller suitcase bouncing and clamoring on the uneven ground as he approached them. Noah stepped back from Penny with a worried face. The young man who resembled Noah stopped in front of them, crossing his arms. His face was as blank as a be
ach stone. Noah stiffened beside Penny. The young man in turn stared hard at Noah but was the first to break as a smile spread out across his face. They gripped each other in a welcoming embrace complete with back patting and growling. Penny backed up a step, unsure of how close she wanted to be. Harry broke free and turned to Penny.

  “And you brought your new girlfriend! You dog, bro.”

  “This is Penelope Osborn.” Noah slapped his brother on the shoulder.

  Penny’s heart stuttered when Noah said Penelope, the recent image briefly forgotten. Or perhaps it was because he didn’t deny the girlfriend part. Shaking off those thoughts, Penny shook Harry’s outstretched hand and smiled. He did look like Noah. Same dark hair, same nose, same chin. But he had brown eyes, and was shorter and thicker.

  He held her hand longer than necessary, bringing it up to his lips.

  With a slight kiss he said, “This is Penny? The Penny?” His firm grip prevented her from gracefully retrieving her hand, so she left it in his grasp.

  Penny looked hesitantly at Noah and then back at Harry.

  “I’m sorry. What do you mean?” she queried.

  “What I mean is the Penny that everyone is talking about. Noah, Uncle, Auntie, Vale. Noah. Tiki, even. After all they said, words still could not convey what stands before me.” He placed his free hand over his heart during his speech. As he gazed intently at her, she shifted uncomfortably. Fear, humiliation, uncertainty tried to crush her.

  What does he mean? she thought to Lucy.

  He bowed. “My family is besotted with you. And I can see why. You are a beauty. Angels would gather to be in your presence.”

  She glanced at Noah who stood with a wide grin on his face. Oh, joking. I get it. Well, whatever.

  “I’m sorry, Penny. I forgot to warn you that my brother can be a bit…much.”

  “You did mention you two are very different.” She finally extricated her hand from Harry’s, worried he’d try to kiss it again, and said, “Look, how about we head out. We are blocking traffic.”